It’s March and that means Thin Mint season.
Girl Scouts are scarce back here in the woods, but last week I scored a case of Thin Mints after following a trail of crumbs on social media. I met up with Heather in a parking lot behind the local school (not a mint-free zone), forked over the cash, and brought my stash home.
Now those Thin Mints are torturing me. Their chocolate sugary goodness are the perfect complement to morning coffee. The refreshing mint cleanses the palate after lunch or supper. These small treats fit the bill for a late night dessert if I am craving something sweet.
But I will not eat them.
I have already fallen off the bandwagon on caffeine, gluten, dairy and alcohol. I will not give in to sugar, even in Thin Mints.
I bought my Thin Mints for tradition. It’s March. For almost fifty years, I have eaten Thin Mints in March, the peak of the Girl Scout cookie-sales season. For most of his entire life, my son has eaten Thin Mints in March. We have our traditions and must maintain them –even if doing so means several weeks of torture by Thin Mint as the supply steadily diminishes.
I have sworn off Thin Mints as follow-up to a “whole foods cleanse” I recently completed. I wanted to shake things up with my eating habits. Maybe lose a few of the pounds that stealthily creep on year after year. Learn some new tricks that might help me to sleep better and feel more energetic. In doing so, I might eliminate all the fun in life, but maybe I could take up gambling. Somebody’s got to support all those new casinos opening in New England this year.
Although my husband says the color is unappetizing, this chocolate-y protein-packed almond-milk smoothie filled me up during my week long cleanse. No sugar, dairy, or other evils. And it is delicious!
Except for the caffeine piece, the whole foods cleanse seemed reasonable: Follow a whole-foods diet for a week, with a focus on eating more fruits and veggies. No gluten, dairy, alcohol, sugar or caffeine. No processed foods. After a week, I could start adding foods back in.
The idea behind the cleanse isn’t to transform everyone into gluten-free teetotalers, but to eliminate toxins from the body and nudge participants into making small changes in diet over time. Not necessarily to become gluten-free, but to eat less bread and pasta, and more veggies. Not to permanently swear off Greek yogurt, but to move away from dairy as the only way to dress up coffee or cereal.
Completing the week-long cleanse was easier than I thought. The biggest challenge was giving up coffee. I slowly had been moving towards eating less bread and pasta anyway, and had replaced milk, for the most part, with almond milk. And although I love a daily glass of red wine, I’d been having trouble sleeping for a long time, and my doctor suggested trying to skip the evening wine. Instead, I’d switched to a nightly wine glass filled with tart cherry juice, which my doc said might help me sleep better.
During the week, I felt tired in the morning from lack of coffee. By evening, however, I usually felt more energetic than usual.
Although I am inclined to be a skeptic about the health claims of various programs and diets, I think I benefited from the completing the cleanse. I am not waking up at 3 a.m. and tossing and turning until 6. And although I’m again drinking my morning coffee, I’m now only dabbling in gluten, dairy, and alcohol (which is kind of the point).
However, after finishing the cleanse, I decided to more or less permanently give up sweets and sugar, except as a very rare treat. No more afternoon cookies or the occasional doughnut. The Hershey Kisses in the closet would go in the trash. The cleanse taught me that I don’t really crave sugar. I don’t need it, the way I need my coffee.
But Thin Mints–they are small. They are a treat. They call to me.
Each day, I pack two or three into my son’s lunch box. If you know that middle-age means a barren existence of no Thin Mints, it’s best to make sure your child gets to eat them now.
Glaciers will melt and sea levels will rise. Wars may be fought for oil. China may call in its loans to the U.S. government and the economy may collapse. But at least my child will have memories of Thin Mints.
Perhaps it would be better to have no memory of Thin Mints at all, than to be tortured by the memory of their minty sweetness.
Perhaps eating Thin Mints would make a better memory than one of being tortured by the memory of eating Thin Mints.
Do I want to live in a world where my relationship with Thin Mints ends with the memory of torture by Thin Mint?
It’s the end of March. A nor’easter is on a path to hit the coast with several inches of snow.
I’m going to make a caffeine-gluten-sugar-dairy-alcohol-free smoothie and consider my options.
Another benefit of ordering a case of Thin Mints is that your cat gets a new box to add some excitement to his dull house-bound life.
P.S.
I completed my whole foods cleanse with the guidance of health coach Kate Kennington at GLOW Body Work.
This recipe for a Raw Banana Cacao Breakfast shake is sweet, filling, and full of protein. The key ingredient is the cacao. Bananas can be fresh or frozen, and you omit or add the dates as you wish. You can also add protein powder for more protein.
Chia seeds, which apparently are full of omega 3s and other good stuff, swell up and create a sort of pudding when they are soaked, so I think including them in the smoothie contributes to a feeling of fullness.
